Pictures and the Past

"I'm upstairs in our house in the country. There is a closet there. It's the closet that we had when I was a kid in reality. I opened the closet and go inside. There is shelf in the closet that has a lot of stuff on it. One is very small baby shoe (I think it's the left foot), size of a quarter. It has "T-Fridays" written on it.

I see an older picture of our family. I can see my mom smiling. I thought "I remember that picture." I see another picture of our family, first I see only part of it because it's behind another picture frame. It says "Our family in the 70's" or something like that. As I slowly move it so I can see it better, I am expecting to see myself in the photo, but I'm not there. I thought "I'm not there because I wasn't born yet." I also see a black n' white picture of my older sister. She's so pretty there, I think it's taken in the 70s too. I see an older pix of my cousin, in the 70s too. She's so pretty.

Then my mom came. She brings a basket of "suman" (rice cake) for us to eat."

When I woke up from this dream, I felt so lonely. I miss my family so much. I miss home. It's been awhile since we all got together. It really breaks my heart.

One thing that I notice in this dream is: myself not being in the pictures. I think it reflects the way I feel. I feel I'm not being part of our family because of the distance. The way that I long to see myself in the pictures denotes my yearning to be with them in reality.